Last Sunday, I called my mom. She had told me to call her before I left town to elope with Guy. She had received her second chemo treatment that Friday, so I knew she wasn't planning on going anywhere.
So why did I get the answering machine?
I left a message, thinking that maybe they were napping. No one called back. First thing on Monday morning, when it is late enough Pacific time to call, I dial.
Answering machine again.
I turn to Guy and say, "Mom is in the hospital. Something has gone wrong, and she is in the hospital." Another man would have told me not to worry and that there was no way to know that. Guy said, "You are probably right. There isn't anything you can do about it now, but if we need to go to CA instead of on our honeymoon, we'll work it out." God, I love that man.
My brother has not heard from them either. I wake him up I think, and he tells me to go ahead and get married and not worry about it. He will find out what is going on and let me know.
Don't worry about it.
That is completely ridiculous I think. I'm on my way to
There is something that my parents are quite confused about, and it is that even though I worry about them, I am still able to function in my everyday life. Even though eloping with no family present was not at all how I wanted to get married, I made do, and pretty damn well, thank you. Yes, I want them safe, healthy, here, and happy. In the event that I can't have all that right now, I'll take what happiness I can get.
The happiness I have now is my new family. Aside from being the new bride of the most wonderful man in the world, I'm also a new stepmother. Lovely is now officially my stepdaughter. I tried to work the dogs into the equation as well, but nobody is buying the whole stepdog thing.
There is always some amount of happiness. And I truly believe, from the course of my life in the past few years that there will always be that amount of sadness too. You can't choose your circumstances, but you can choose how you react to them I think.
I am scared to death for my mother. She is still in the hospital. Daddy is staying at the house by himself. I'm happy about neither, and can control neither at the same time. I could though, go ahead and take care of marrying the man of my dreams. A long term investment if you will.