My husband is far too hard on himself. This house has been far too hard on him. The addition hasn't gone the way he planned for it to go, and he blames himself. There is someone far more appropriate to blame, but since we aren't actually finished dealing with him, I can't talk about it yet.When I say that I wish the fence was up so I don't have to see the overgrown bamboo, that is really all I mean. I don't mean, "I wish the fence was up, but my husband is a lazy ass who hasn't gotten around to it." But that's what he hears.
I can understand why. This is his project. His dream for our family. This recording studio will be a place where he and I can work together on music just like we've wanted to do since we got together. When I complain, he takes it personally.
With as much nonsense as I take personally, I can certainly allow him that.
But for the record, I don't think this is his fault. I don't blame him for it not being finished, going over budget, or taking up all of our free time. What I see when I look at this behemoth of an addition is Kevin's ability to dream big and persevere.
I see his desire to provide for his family. His talent with power tools. His ability to envision a finished project. Especially that one, since I can't even envision a new paint color on the walls.
I know that before our fifth anniversary, we will be finished with the house (but probably not the landscaping - sorry, neighbors), and it will be lovely.
So for all the times I've gotten bent out of shape over this, I apologize. I love you, and I'm proud to be married to someone who can build his own dream. You are amazing.
Our song from 2009: