Monday, November 24, 2008

Another Day

I still come here and sit quietly. I walk through the pages feeling the chill of a home that has been locked up tight with sheets over the furniture, curtains drawn, and the heat turned down low.

There are emails that sit unanswered. Questions of how I am, what I'm doing, how is the baby. I don't respond.

There are friends I haven't visited. Comments left untyped. My silence has extended from this space into your spaces as well.

I miss you.

I miss this space.

It has been over two months since I left here. I don't think it was a wrong decision. Contrary to my husband's and Cliff's opinions, I don't think it was a defeated decision. It was simply what I felt was right. To say that I was "defeated" means that I was in battle with someone, which is absolutely not the case.

Closing down gave me the distance needed to figure out why I do this in the first place and consider if it is important enough to me to allow access to everyone.

Even people who need restraining orders taken out against them to learn some boundaries.

The answer, obviously, is yes. Yes, it is that important to me. I miss you, and I miss this space. When I visit your blogs now, I feel like the guest that shows up at your house and never a cake or a bottle of wine.

You've missed so much. I've missed recording so much. There is dancing and cruising across furniture. There are five teeth and first words. There is so much joy.

I'm sorry to have vanished like I did.

For all of those who said goodbye, and I am so grateful for all of the comments - I had no idea there were so many of you out there reading - for all of the goodbyes, I hope that you don't mind saying hello again.

I guess that made my previous post an interrupted cadence. A V-vi if you will.

Of course, this is what you've really missed - some pictures of the big guy.



28 comments:

  1. I so hope this means you're back!!!

    I love the pictures...he looks GREAT!!

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  2. Welcome back. You were missed.

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  3. Welcome Back. I missed you.

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  5. I was hoping - with those hints you dropped here and there... Yay! So nice to have you home:)

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  6. Welcome back, Marty - glad I'm along for the ride this time. :)

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  7. Oh, yay, you're back! He's gotten so big. And adorable.

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  8. Awesome!! Welcome back :)

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  9. Yay! I'm so glad you are back!!

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  10. Gorgeous Gerber baby! Glad to see you back!

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  11. Yay! You were missed. Welcome home.

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  12. Welcome HOME Momma...

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  13. I've kept you on my bloglines in the hope that maybe - just maybe -
    So glad to see you and your adorable little guy! :)

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  14. Love and hugs to you. You have been missed. Great photos. You made me cry. Again.

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  15. I am so happy you are here. You never left my bloglines for a moment!

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  16. Bobbie6:45 PM

    Welcome back! Bird looks more than two months older!

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  17. Maybe this will stop the whining. Go Shamoopie go.

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  18. Anonymous12:04 PM

    I am glad you are back!! The baby is beautiful!!

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  19. YOU'RE BACK!!!

    I've missed you so...

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    CGF

    ps. your boys are gorgeous, as are you, my friend.

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  20. Ooooooh welcome back!!!!! I am so glad you are back!

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  21. Asses kicked. Names taken. Hall passes revoked. Welcome back M!

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  22. So glad your back. Your boy is just gorgeous, absolutly delicious.

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