Saturday, April 13, 2013

Birthday. Yeah, you missed mine again.

I'm not sure how to celebrate a birthday when you aren't here to actually turn another year older.

Cupcakes with big piles of unscientifically created buttercream frosting seem fitting, but I'm trying to cut back.

This is the year you would have turned 40. I did it in February, and customarily, you would just now be noticing because it's your birthday and, "Oh crap! I forgot your birthday again!" You only ever remembered my birthday by the fact that you had one too.

That will never cease to crack me up. You always apologized and never realized that I didn't expect you to ever wish me a happy birthday before April 13.

The other night, I dreamed that all of my guppies were still swimming around the tank, but they were only half of themselves. A head swimming around here, a tail swimming around there. I kept pulling half guppies out of the tank, searching and searching for a whole one. There were no whole ones. 

Sometimes, I wish my dreams were a little less obvious.

I don't know. I think I'll have that cupcake. Call your boys to say hello. Say another prayer for your mama. Feed our fish. 

When I eat that cupcake, I'm not singing. Because even though in my heart, I'll always celebrate the day you were born, I won't be saying "Happy birthday" about it for a long time.


  1. I love you, Marty, and I loved her, too.

    That story cracks me up.

    1. She was so so funny. Even accidentally :)

      Love you too.

  2. big love and happy birthdays to you.

  3. Happy birthday to both of you. I'm glad she brought me you.

  4. Thank you for posting this. I was just reading some of Susan's amazing words yesterday. And happy belated birthday to you :)

  5. Thank you for posting this. I was just reading some of Susan's amazing words yesterday. And happy belated birthday to you :)

  6. Great post. Thanks.

  7. Marty. Thanks for sharing. . . and happy belated. Like Jodi, I'm glad I found you through Susan. xo

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  10. Happy birthday Marty, from yet another reader who's happy to have found you through Susan.

  11. This made me smile. I loved the stories and your commentary. (The cupcakes, the obvious dream symbolism of your guppies, and Susan's inability to remember your birthday until her own.)

    I am glad that you posted, and marked her birthday in this way.

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