The Secret

I am supposed to being doing a music meme from Momma. And, I'm trying to get ready for the Prom as well, but my scanner is not cooperating. Man, Momma is asking a lot these days. The pressure is getting to me. Kidding.

Instead, I am playing with a Fortune Teller that Lovely made.

Lovely has been watching "The Secret" with her mother. If you don't know about this DVD, then you can find it here. It is not a joke, by the way. After the things she told us about it and wanting to discuss it with us, we decided that we needed to see it for ourselves.

Since we are cheap, and by cheap I mean frugal, we first went to the website to see what information we could get there for free. What we saw was incredibly hilarious, and by hilarious I mean disturbing.

YOU ARE A MONEY MAGNET. YOU ARE A MONEY MAGNET. YOU ARE A MONEY MAGNET.

MONEY FALLS ON YOU LIKE AN AVALANCHE. MONEY FALLS ON YOU LIKE AN AVALANCHE. MONEY FALLS ON YOU LIKE AN AVALANCHE.

And Number 2 on her Fortune Teller:

YOU WILL RECEIVE UNEXPECTED CHECKS IN THE MAIL. YOU WILL RECEIVE UNEXPECTED CHECKS IN THE MAIL. YOU WILL RECEIVE UNEXPECTED CHECKS IN THE MAIL.

She has a great sense of humor, that kid. When I got to the part where I was about to choose number 2, she nearly squealed with delight. We both almost wet our pants when she revealed to me that indeed, "I will receive unexpected checks in the mail." *contented sigh after a great big long belly laugh*

Guy did buy the DVD, by the way, because Lovely said it wasn't like the ridiculous trailer on the internet, although the genie (yes, I just said genie) does in fact make an appearance.

Like most things, there is some truth to it. That's about all I have to say.



Okay, who am I kidding? That's not all I have to say. It pissed me off to no end.

Here is this self-help video telling people that all you have to do is think something and it will happen. Some truth? Yes. Positive thoughts make your day more positive. The more you focus on something, the more you notice it in your everyday life. I believe that.

But there are people buying this that are missing the part that the DVD doesn't say. There is actual WORK that must occur between the believing and the receiving. It's not all freaking magical. And, Dude. There are no genies. Sorry.

What pissed me off was the bit about health. A woman "cured" herself of breast cancer because she thought positive thoughts, kept the stress out of her life, and watched funny movies every night with her husband. In 3 months the cancer was gone. They essentially said that if you were sick, then you brought it on yourself. Your thoughts were those of a sick person. Oh please.

You know, of course, that I went straight to my miscarriage. I SO did not cause that with my thoughts. I was the most annoyingly positive pregnant woman. Then I turn to my dad. Should I tell him, "Oh Dad. You have Parkinson's because you think about Parkinson's. Just change your thinking and you will be healed. From an incurable, terminal, neurological disease. It's your own damn fault you have it in the first place."

Right.

Freaking Secret my ass. And then there is the author for the Chicken Soup for the Soul books. He talks about how he made $100K one year after he taped a $1 bill to the ceiling above his bed. He looked at this bill, that he had added a bunch of zeros to, every morning, and lo and behold, he found a way to make $100K. He thought, "I can sell this book that I've written . . ."

Dude. You skimmed over the fact that you already wrote the book. Do you really expect us to believe the $1 bill taped on your ceiling was the cause of your ability to make money, or the fact that you already wrote the freaking book???

Oh my. This DVD cost $30. If you don't waste the $30, then you are already $30 richer. That's the secret.

Don't think you are a loser or you will attract losers. Work hard for what you want and expect results. Don't waste your hard earned money on shit DVD's that tell you a bunch of stuff you want to hear.

Better to follow an 11 year old's fortune teller. The Secret? Pick "yellow," then "9," then "1," then "2." Number Two is the Secret.