Almost that day

The day comes closer. It's just another day. The day before my daddy will have been gone for two years.

It's the day you will have been gone for one year.

I open your blog and stare at it, reading the post you wrote about our last visit over and over again. I smile when you mention me dropping the hood off the fish tank. I smile when I remember our Christmas card addressing. I smile when you talk about the meal you ate.

Then I cry.

Big sobbing, heaving, cries. Missing you like you were just here yesterday.

Some days aren't hard. Most days have happiness. The past week has been filled with birthdays and visits from Nana. But I missed M's birthday, and I could just kick myself. I'm no good at the long distance not quite an aunt thing. I miss your boys.

Moons and planets and stars and books and photos and blogs and scarves and fish and yoga pants and killer ponytails and everything.

It all reminds me of you.

Always.