Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Things I learned today at the doctor

If you have gained 24 pounds and then gain 13 more pounds, you will have gained 37 pounds.

If you eat sushi for dinner, you will have sugar in your urine the next morning.

If you eat sushi for dinner the night before your appointment, your genius nurse practitioner will assume you eat piles of rice all the time.

If you just say "Okay, I will," a lot, the genius nurse practitioner will let you go home a lot sooner.

If you zone out during the long boring DVD about the third trimester they play you while you wait for your blood draw, you will miss the doctor saying that there are many kinds of "IV birth control" from which to choose in the hospital.

I'm pretty sure she meant "IV pain control" since the whole birth control thing would be a moot point by then.