Monday, January 07, 2008

Stand by me, stand by us

I've been trying to figure out what to write all day. There was this post that I was going to write on Saturday about my friend, my hairdresser, Trish. The post, in my head, was going to be about how this time last year, I would go see Trish at least one a week. Her chair at the salon was my safe haven.

I was so depressed. So very sad. With Trish, I could show up as real as I needed to. She would trim, color, and wax my woes away for the morning. She would make it all better for the time being, and gave me so much support after we lost the baby. I leaned on her and leaned hard.

Friday, I went in for some color, and thought about these things. Thought about how grateful I am to have Trish. Thought about this post that I was going to write.

Then she goes and outdoes herself.

There was this conversation we had about a baby shower. I told her about the amazing group of women that had thrown me a shower from the corners of the country. Still, to this day, I can't find the words to express how incredible that felt. I just couldn't believe it.

It is hard to describe, but after my divorce, there was a definite pruning of friends. Not necessarily by my choice, but most certainly for the best. As Guy has so delicately put it, "You're not so great at making friends." No. No, I'm not always the best judge of a healthy friendship.

In short, there just wasn't really anyone that was going to throw a baby shower out of my remaining few IRL friends. There were good reasons, and having pruned the friendship tree of all the rotten apples a couple of years ago, I knew not to take it personally. The timing and circumstances were just so.

But Trish. After all she already had done for me. All that leaning she put up with, she just did the unbelievable.

A shower. A surprise. At her salon, the very place which had been my sanctuary this time last year. Spouses were included, which was very cool. Even Gibson got to come along. There were lasting friends, who Trish pulled together and had pitch in to give Bird a welcoming party. Everyone brought something. They got there early to help her decorate. They stayed and helped clean up. It was a very cool group effort (like my NMD darlings), and Guy and I felt very very loved.

Again, I find myself at a loss for how to accurately describe how lovely it was. How good it felt to be surrounded by my favorite people here in this city I've made my home. How important it was to have those who have chosen to stand by me, be there to welcome the child that I had almost given up on.

When we were all leaving, my dear friend Dr. L said to me with tears in her eyes, how happy she was that this was happening. I smiled back and said that it had been a long time coming, hadn't it? She smiled back and said yes, it had.

See, the ones that stuck around - those friends who decided I hadn't lost my mind when I blew up my life and started piecing it back together again - they see the difference. The ones that didn't just judge me, they are the ones who know how indescribably lucky I am to have been given this chance. Granted this life. The ones who knew me before know what could have been.

I don't take a single stitch of it for granted.

Today, I especially don't take Trish for granted. Or anyone else who was involved in helping us welcome Little Bird yesterday. He's a lucky little dude to have such good aunties and uncles.