Night night Little Bird

I sleep to the hisses and hums of a baby monitor now. It seems too soon to have my son in the next room, his own room, in a big crib all by himself. I miss him.

Truth be told, he sleeps better. He sleeps longer. And Guy and I have some time together after he goes down for the night. It is working for us.

There are still some nights when he wakes up an hour later and I bring him back into our bed. He fell asleep between us last night with his arm thrown up onto my chest. His face was still nestled into my breast and he slipped back into his little baby dreamland by giving up a shaky, nasally sigh.

Tomorrow night, Guy will be away for work again. Instead of nervous, this time I am a little excited that Bird and I will have a slumber party. We can climb into bed as early as we like and snuggle up.

I thought we would be co-sleepers for much longer. In a way, we still are. Bird stays with us after he nurses the first time in the night.

But putting him to bed now means that I lay him in his crib, stroke his little head, turn on his magic bear, and then leave the room, closing the door behind me.

It is so hard to leave him. Even just in the next room.

I'm in big trouble. I can see this already.