Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Absolutely
I have long said that your sweet tooth would be the death of you. Midnight powdered donuts. Pecan Sandies right before dinner. The inability to pass a Dairy Queen without stopping for a malt.
Really. You didn't have to take me so seriously. You didn't have to be so literal.
**************************************
My parents' health issues prompted me to start blogging. There was always a trauma. Always a certain amount of time left for them. Always a last goodbye.
And yet, they are both still here. I know that I'm lucky.
A little over a week ago, Daddy fell onto the driveway after spilling an ice cream sundae in his lap in the car. Dairy Queen, how I hate you.
He hit his head quite hard. So hard that it was how Momma realized he had fallen. She heard his head hit like a melon from the other side of the car.
What got him though, was his hip. He broke his hip.
We saw that coming a mile away. He's frail. He's shaky. He's stubborn.
He has had surgery to repair the break, and we are told that it went well. What didn't go well were the 20-30 mini strokes he had sometime after the surgery.
He didn't wake up for days.
Now, I'm told he is unresponsive. Or sometimes I hear that he is a little responsive. He can't talk. He can talk a little bit. He can't get up. He's sitting on the edge of the bed.
I'm slightly confused.
It's hard to know what is going on when you aren't there to see it yourself.
There is talk of hospice. Feeding tubes. No feeding tubes. The Parkinson's will keep him from recovering fully from the strokes. I think. As I understand it.
I'm getting new tires for the Jeep so that I can go if I need to. But I'm not going until Momma says she needs me, or until Daddy is gone.
Daddy and I are good. I don't need to see him that one last time. I need to remember him from his visit in November.
**********************************
Last night's episode of How I Met Your Mother was a little hard for me to watch. Marshall's father died suddenly. The episode centered around his father's last words to everyone.
Marshall's dad's last words to him were "Rent Crocodile Dundee III." Which, if you know my daddy, is really funny, because his favorite movie is, in fact, Crocodile Dundee.
In spite of all the information I've received about how unresponsive my daddy is, today, I talked to him on the phone. I have no freaking idea what that is all about, and I'm not sure I even believe it myself.
I was talking to my momma when I heard a very mumbled, "Who is that?" to which Momma replied, "It's Marty. Do you want to talk to her?"
The next thing I know, I'm TALKING ON THE PHONE to my daddy who we just were talking about going into hospice. WHAT? I know.
I didn't understand much of what he said. It has been difficult to understand him on the phone for quite some time, but today was different. It was stroke talk on top of Parkinson's talk. Just garbled. What I did get was this:
Me: I hear you fell out of the car because of an ice cream sundae.
Daddy: Someone is pulling your leg.
The man made a joke.
Daddy: How are . . . (he couldn't find the names)
Me: My boys?
Daddy: Yes, and Mallory?
Me: They are doing just fine. The boys have birthdays coming up, you know.
More garbledness.
Daddy: I have to go now.
Me: I know. Thank you for talking to me.
Daddy: You bet.
Me: I love you.
Daddy: . . .
Me: Do you still love me, Daddy?
Daddy: Absolutely.
And in case I didn't understand the first one:
Daddy: Ab.So.LUTE.Ly.
*************************************
I don't know what to think. If those are his last words to me, then I'm a lucky daughter.
The Suttles are known for rallying and beating the odds though. Maybe he's going to pull through this after all.
I sure wouldn't be surprised.
But I have to say, I'm okay if it's his time to go. He shouldn't have to work so hard to recover just to still be so sick with Parkinson's. I'm alright to let go of him if he needs me to. We're good.
Absolutely.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)

















Oh, Marty. This is such a beautiful post. You and your family are in my prayers. Big hugs.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry, Marty. We watched my grandfather suffer for 22 months after a massive stroke. He was in his 90s. He worked tirelessly to come back to the point of talking. Slowly. With precision of thought that was nearly painful to watch. But the stroke took his eyesight. It took his mobility. It took his ability to minister. Ultimately, it was too much work and not enough payoff, and he asked to be allowed to go.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to you and your mom. It's a miserable way to end your life.
Oh, Marty. I would run across the street to hug you, but I'm afraid all the crying I'm doing right now would mean I'm no help to you.
ReplyDeleteCan't believe I didn't know all this was going on and I just saw you. Am procrastinating on work via FB and saw the link there.
Sending prayers, of course -- but please let me know if I can do anything else.
oh, my heart, Marty.
ReplyDeletesending you and your Daddy and your Momma all kinds of love.
Marty, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what you're going through.
ReplyDeletePlease know that I am here for you -- for anything. Really.
-Abby
one thing we are never too old for - our parents absolute love. my FIL died of a stroke 10 years ago - he never woke up after one massive one at the age of 69.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Marty, I am so sorry you are going through this. Hearing your pain and confusion makes my heart hurt for you. I know we don't know each other very well, but please call me if you need to cry or scream or grieve in silence with someone holding your hand. My Dad passed away from cancer 6 years ago and I remember that grief begins long before life ends.
ReplyDelete~Amy Cook
I'm so sorry. My grandmother had Parkinson's and several mini-strokes, so I remember what that's like all too clearly. And my dad is currently showing early signs of dementia, so... yeah. I totally hear you. It's scary and awful and I hate it for you.
ReplyDeleteKeeping you and your family in my prayers.
Marty this was such a wonderfully meaningful post. Thank you for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteYou and your family are in my thoughts and prayers as you navigate through this questionable and difficult time.
Marty - I'm so very sorry to hear of your dad's accident. He and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteSince becoming a reader of your blog (I came here via WhyMommy's blog), I've been amazed at some of the similarities we are experiencing.
One of the dearest, most important people in my life, one of my best friends, is dealing with cancer too. A recurrence. My dad, his health is not very well, and unfortunately we do not live very close to each other. Close enough I can drive to get there, but not close enough I can be there for everyday things, doctor visits, just to be able to spend casual days together during this time when I wish I could.
Ironically, I've never really watched "How I Met Your Mother", but I came across it the other night and was completely drawn to the episode about Marshall and the loss of his father.
I just want you to know, that even though you write these posts (I assume?) as a journal of your life and what you are going through....they've meant a lot to me, have been a little therapeutic even. I hope I don't sounds like I'm exploiting your pain (or especially like I'm competely looney!), but please know that your writing is lovely to me ~ that I sit here at my computer and read, nodding my head, relating so much to what you are going through.
Thoughts and prayers to all of you. Take care.
I'm so sorry Marty. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteThis was like reading about my grandfather a year before his death.
I hope you get more time with him. Even just a few more visits. Huge hugs to you.
Beautiful post, but I'm sorry there was a reason to write it. I'm thinking of you and your family and happy to help in any way. If either of your parents need you there, we can totally spend some time with the kids or dog sit, etc.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. Still praying for - and with - your family.
ReplyDeleteLove to you tonight.
Oh Marty. I am so sorry. But what a beautiful post. And yes, absolutely, you are lucky! Saying prayers for your family.
ReplyDeleteOh Marty. You know how much your mom & dad have inspired me and touched my heart over the past few years. I am sending all kinds of love and hugs and prayers to you all.
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful post and I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Sending positive thoughts to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. Still. Always.
ReplyDeleteThese inventories like any other inventories should be used carefully due to the screen resolution being jacked up, or just a
ReplyDeletesoftware quirk, but it does put those old Game Genies to shame.
I can't tell you much about the best case scenarios with the Desire sexcam HD, which already exhibits the signs of a battery biting off more hardware duties than it can chew. But Hesiod is sexcam a significant improvement over the 4 -- except when using the Nexus One in terms of picture size and quality, but speed, too.
My web-site - sex cam
How weird is it that bloggers have multiple favourite wreath crafts?
ReplyDelete1971 and" Le droit � l'�ducation dans le monde actuel"
1948 telefonsex appeared in English as To understand is to invent:
The future of education translated by George-Anne Roberts, New York:
Ballantine, 1971. There are 2 episodes that fall
towards the end of the 55 Telefonsex
Clone Wars episodes. But typically it's less confusing to make the pronunciation and spelling rules in your language, you can do it in this step.
Rnd 8: Sc in next 3 sc, 2 sc in last sc, 2 sc in 1st sc, sc in
ReplyDeleteeach sc around. 12 scRnd 12: Sc next sc, 2 sc in the chain 2 space,
work 2 sc in next sc repeat around. In terms of touch
sensitivity, the display is as good as the iPhone 3 G vs.
But You're worried for them and their young kids, and their divorce causes you to reflect about a lot of men's
buttons.
My web page :: sexchat
Haupts�chlich camsexs live im Internet zu lesen, klicke bitte hier Sehr interessant ist beil�ufig die gro�e Bibliothek an geilen M�dchen und Stecher filmen im Schlafzimmer mit der Senderin schreiben oder aber via das Mikro sprechen.
ReplyDeleteVisit my web blog :: sexcams
So of course, for a discussion of ritual impurity 36b,
ReplyDeletethe illustration of the crown of the pomegranate is critical to understanding the
text. Only what was intended as the summary volume
has appeared in English: Jean Piaget and Brbel Inhelder, La
reprsentation de l'espace chez l'enfant Paris: Presses Universitaires de France, 1948; translated by F.
Feel free to visit my weblog ... Telefon Sex
Below every headline, there sexcam is a strong
ReplyDeletesource of satisfaction.
My page - sexcams