Tuesday, May 23, 2006

For some reason, I cannot figure out how I am supposed to answer the question, "How are your parents?" It is a polite question, and one that I am frequently asked due to my propensity to take off across the county at any given moment. Everyone knows that I go to see my parents as often as I can.

Now though, I cannot honestly say, "Fine, thank you."

I have tried a couple of different answers which have had varying degrees of success. Today, I simply tried, "They can't treat my mother's cancer and have given her three to four years to live if the chemo works."

That is one that I discovered I can't get through gracefully yet. I experimented today with a trusted friend who asked the question and found me in a sobbing mess less than five words into the answer. Lucky for me, she has been the first person who hasn't said,

"I don't know what to say."

Those are hard words to hear. Even from best friends, they are hard, because they remind me that I don't know what to say either.

What I haven't said here yet is how much everyone loves my momma. It isn't just that it is hard for me to tell people that I'm going to lose her entirely too soon, it is that I'm also telling them they are going to lose her.

I guess that means that I won't be alone in my grief though.