Sunday, June 24, 2007

Surrounding you

There is a line I don't want to cross. It is the line of blogger relationship and friendship. Since she has blogged about it herself, I'm going to dance lightly around the subject. Since it has been heavy on my mind for days, I'm going to dance lightly around the subject.

Since she is my best friend, I'm going to dance ever so lightly around the subject.

I fucking hate cancer. I learned what cancer was when I was 7 years old. My mother has been fighting it off and on ever since then. The waiting game involved with cancer is one of the crueler components of the disease.

The possibility that my best friend has cancer makes me so very angry. Because even before the results are in, you have to start fighting. Because it's not just the disease that people have to fight. It's the fear. The fear is enough to topple even the strongest person.

There is the initial discovery that something might go wrong. Then you wait for your turn at the doctor. You go to the doctor, who confirms that something is not normal. Then you wait for your turn at the specialist. You go to the specialist, who confirms that more testing is needed. You wait for your turn for the testing. You go get tested.

Then you wait for the results.

Tomorrow, and possibly Tuesday, and dear God not Wednesday too, she will wait. Her family will wait. I will wait.

I am asking that you wait with her too.

I envision this wall of people, bloggers, who can stand around her while she waits. I see a strong circle of women and men who will be hoping for the test results to come back "benign." I see this shield risen above her so that she knows she doesn't have to wait alone. Because no matter what the results are, this time right now, this waiting, pushes the pause button in your life, and you can't breathe again until you hear an answer.

Monday morning, Whymommy goes for her biopsy. Please just click right on over to her and leave your comments there. Please.

P.S. I know you know this, but I love you dearly, and have complete faith that whatever this is - you are going to kick its ass.