Monday, June 02, 2008

I want you to want me

This weekend, we packed up Bird's cradle and put it into storage. He doesn't use it anymore. He hasn't used it in weeks.

I still got a little weepy at seeing it go.

It surprised me, the twang I felt at seeing the first big symbol of babydom being outgrown. I didn't think I would mind.

You see, I haven't been one of those mothers who relishes in the babyness of it all. While I enjoy the baby, I love snuggling with the baby, and I think the baby is awesome, I'm totally looking forward to when Bird and I can have a conversation.

I'm really excited about when we can walk through the Museum of Life and Science, holding hands and talking about what we see.

Don't get me wrong. He is completely adorable, laying here kickypantings and grabbing at his daddy's leg hair. I do love watching him figure things out. I think it's incredible how he changes from day to day and week to week.

But I didn't think I would be sad to see the baby go.

I am. Just a little.

Until I realize that this weekend he discovered his feet. And last week, he put together that if he jutted out his bottom lip and started to cry that we would stop what we were doing and coo at him. This made him laugh.

He is becoming more and more fun.

It's just that I wasn't quite ready for him not need me right with him every moment of every day. Of course, I'm trading him not needing me for him understanding that he wants me.

In the grand scheme of things, I guess that is a pretty good trade off.