I hate Craig's List

About once a year, I have a momentary lapse of reason and post some furniture or something on Craig's List. I don't know why I do this. I hate Craig's List, and always regret using it.

Last year, I posted a bunch of my furniture because Guy and I were consolidating. Doing the married thing. Combining households. I had been fortunate enough to be the receiver of many pieces of furniture that people no longer wanted, and at this point, they had been used and loved beyond Guy's discriminating taste. Read: he wanted new stuff.

The Craig's List people emailed and set up times to come and purchase my goods. Then they didn't show up. Or they showed up and decided they didn't want it after all. Or they showed up and wanted to give me $0.17 for it. I literally backed one little man out of the house, pointing across his shoulder at the door saying, "Get the hell out of my house now, buddy."

He had offered me a couple of bucks for a fourth generation cedar chest in perfect condition. Um, I wasn't even selling the damn cedar chest. Dipwad.

So today, I list some chairs. A pair of green chairs that Guy bought when he bought this house. They don't fit anymore and no one likes to sit in them. They have to go. I also list a pair of leather chairs and an ottoman that there is nowhere to put. They are lovely and we adore them, but there is simply no room. We have guitared and pianoed ourselves out of space for furniture.

All the chairs are insanely cheap. Because we just want them to go away. And because I don't want to haggle with people. I post a picture of each, the price, and the condition.

Within the hour, I get emails.

How much are the chairs? It's in the listing, you stupid moron.

Can you send me another picture? No. Just open the listing and squint if you can't see it.

How tall are the chairs? I don't know. They are big person chairs. Why do you care?

Where did you buy them? Geez people. They are cheap ass chairs. Do you want them or not?

Why are you getting rid of them? Because I don't want them anymore, Einstein.

Can I come by for a viewing? No, creepo. It's not a furniture store or a funeral home. Viewing. Gah. You can come by and buy them, turd muffin.

So I promise one pair of chairs to a nice lady over the phone. She doesn't show up tonight to get them. Butthole. At least she called and left a message that she wasn't coming. Then I promised the other set to another lady who upped my price just so she could have them.

Now, I've promised all four chairs to another lady who upped the price anymore. At least they aren't haggling downwards. However, I feel completely evil going back on my word with someone.

Even though the likelihood of anyone actually following through and purchasing these chairs (and an ottoman!) is slim to none. So who cares who I promise them to?

I hate Craig's List. And yet I continue to torture myself. Please make me stop.