Thursday, May 03, 2007

What if I just let go?

This song was recorded in 2000. Yes. A full five years before I gave my first husband the boot. The funniest part about this is that my ex was in this band.

Yep. I wrote this song, and sang these words, week after week, with him sitting behind me beating away on things that went "ping."

I couldn't really believe it when I heard it again. The tape was never mixed down to completion, so I hadn't heard it in years. When Guy and I were playing with the 4 track the other day, we found it. I had forgotten how much I liked these songs. The guitar players were noodley but good. The best part about them was how well they played with each other. Their little Taylors were like twins, finishing each other's sentences and sharing each other's thoughts.

The other thing this song reminded me of was this: Throughout my first marriage, I had plenty of guy friends. It was nothing for me to meet a guy for coffee, go out to dinner, hang out at the house, just me and him. My ex was hardly ever around, so what did he care? Looking back, I realize how many of those friends were over the line. One of the guitar players in this band was that type of friend. As you can imagine, drama ensued. I had no intention of ever crossing an actual line, nor would I have ever dreamed of an affair or leaving my ex for another man. So the closeness of the friendship with this other band member? Very confusing to the situation.

It's amazing what I missed as I stood right in the middle of it all. Well, I say I missed it, but then I wrote songs like this one. I couldn't have been missing it then, could I?

Just to add a little more quirkiness to this week's Thursday Tune, Guy went back in and recorded a bass track to this song. So basically, this is me, my first husband, my last husband (five years after the original recording), a guy that does an amazing Curious George impression, and another guy that I had an inappropriate friendship with. Hooray.

Is is me, or should he have clued in when he heard this song?