Friday, November 09, 2007

Haiku Friday and I hate cancer, but who doesn't?

Not in the mood for
Writing good haiku tonight
Chemo next Friday.

Find more and better haiku here.


We are not foolish enough to think that Momma wouldn't have to go back on chemo at some point. Her cancer is a chronic condition. We know that.

So when she called today, and I could hear the news in the tone of her voice before her words were spoken, I didn't crumble. It didn't feel like a crisis. I didn't immediately run through all of the things I needed to cancel in order to catch a plane.

Now that they have moved, thank God, they are near my brother. Bro and Sil are great with them, and the grandchildren bring joy into their lives. There will be help. There will not be Daddy taking Momma a piece of bread folded in half and calling it a sandwich. Bless his heart. This is so huge. I'm so grateful that they are near family now.

I think she will be okay. I think they will zap it back again this time. I think that she will live long enough to know Little Bird and for Little Bird to fall completely madly for her.

But she won't be here in January. Not for the birth. After all the wrestling with whether or not it was a good idea for them to be here, the coming to terms with how I wanted her here even it was more work because of Daddy, after all that?

It isn't even an option.

And of course, that makes me want her more than ever. And I just feel really sad.

But I also want you for a long time, so we will compromise. Stay there and fight now. Come here after you've kicked some more cancer in the tush. Little Bird will want you to stick around for a long time.


  1. Oh, damn. I'm sorry. Really sorry.

  2. Im sad for you reading this. Im sorry about your momma not being at the birth, but will pray and believe for her to kick her cancer!

  3. Oh, Canape... How I wish I could give you a big ((hug)) in person.

    xo CGF

  4. Oh Canape, I want to hug you now.

    Better she fight it now so she can be there for you and Little Bird for a long, long time!!!!

    I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to miss your mom when you give birth!

    You are such a strong woman...

  5. Thank you for your words. They mean more and say more than you can even imagine. Dad says the birth is not out of the picture yet and you know the power of determination genes on both sides of your family. I love you for who you are.

  6. Such a heart-wrenching haiku. Very moving. So sorry for you and your mom. Wishing her big success.

  7. I am so sorry my friend. I wanted my Mom so bad. I can only think you feel very much like I did and I would have been crushed had she not been there... you, your Mom, you family, they're always in our thoughts and prayers... pat that Bird from me.

  8. I can't imagine. I'm so sorry. Cancer is a horrible disease, not only for the patient. It destroys so much in our lives that should be joyous.

    But you'll have her. That is what counts, and she'll meet your Bird.

  9. I'm so sorry about your momma and daddy not being able to be there in January. Big prayers that she kicks cancer's butt!

  10. I'm so sorry. I'll be thinking of you and your mom.

  11. I can't imagine; I'm so caught up in her and I don't even really know her.

    Wish I could hug you right now, but know that I'm praying for you.

    For all of you.

  12. I'm sorry - I hope she kicks cancer's butt and good.

  13. I have no words. Just hugs and prayers. I'm so very, very sorry, but I will send all my hope and positive thinking your way.

  14. Canape, I'm so sincerely sorry too. So sorry.

    My Mom has 'chronic' cancer too and every 6 months we wait for the news - to do chemo or not to do chemo. It weighs heavily on my heart, mind (and plans) at all times. But we do, what we have to do.

    I feel your pain and will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

  15. I'm sorry. Lots of prayers for Mom. I have faith that she'll kick it! God is on her side.

  16. I'm sorry for your mama having to go through this again. And for you, that she won't be at Little Bird's birth. I know that is a very big deal. Please pass on my love to your mama and let her know she's in my prayers.

    You are, too, you know.

  17. I'm sorry. Big, tight, long hugs for you and the family.