Alone and rambling

Guy is gone. Flying to Boston as I type. It is a job interview, so that is good. He will be back tomorrow, but for now, I am alone.

Pupstar has positioned herself at my feet doing her best pillbug imitation. She will follow me around tonight, wondering when things will get back to normal. When Guy will get back home.

I'll warm up some pasta, have a glass of wine, and then most likely try and put things away. There is a never ending collection of crap in this house that has not found its place yet. I should get rid of most of it.

Do we really need 1000 cd's? No. We haven't even gone through them to see what duplicates we have yet. I guarantee we have two of every Crowded House cd, most U2 cd's, all the Police, and a lot of the Beatles.

What he doesn't have is any Nirvana, Pearl Jam, or Juliana Hatfield. What I don't have is any Johnny Smith, Diana Krall, or John Pizzarelli. My music is music to out grow; his is music to grow into.

There is a whole lifetime that we didn't get to live together. He has been on stage so many times playing, and I never got to see it. He never got to see me be angry-rock-chick either, but that's probably a good thing. Sometimes though, I actually get sad that we missed so much of each other's lives.

That is completely retarded and I know it.

So far tonight, truth be told, I've drunk the glass of wine without eating the pasta. I've not picked anything up. Instead, I've read blogs and been in a funk.

I'm sorry to have to say, there is another member to the growing club. It is not a club that you want anyone to have to join. However, Karaoke Diva had a D&C 4 days ago now and has been writing eloquently about it since. I should pop in and mention to her that having her blog turn into "miscarriage central" isn't a bad thing. Especially for 4 days. I'm going on a month and can't seem to change the channel for very long. She is already back at work. I marvel.

Guy had a great idea. He gets laid off on February 5 (so he hears), and I should ovulate by the end of that week. He suggested we take the first bite of his severance and go away somewhere. Go try to make another baby. It's a great idea. Except for the timing.

I think that's why I'm a little bummed. I want nothing more than to say yes to him, but my kiddos are getting ready to compete. February is the last month before competitions, and I just can't miss their lessons. They have been working for months on these pieces, and I need to give them all the time I can to finish getting them ready. They have worked too hard to not have the best chance possible. The best chance possible includes me being here for them.

Plus, we have symphony tickets. Plus plus, I have a gig that Saturday.

Now I understand why he wanted me to quit my other job.

I would love to go away. I'm going to have to make it special right here though.

Does anyone have any suggestions for a stay at home vacation? Romantic get away where you don't actually leave?

I need some help here, ladies. I'm romance deficient.