Heading home

Today we are heading home. Frankly, I am terrified. Being here, at my parents, I have been able to hide away whenever I wanted or needed to. I have only been around family. That is going to change now.

We will get back home tomorrow, and I do not want to walk through the front door of my house. There are baby presents from Christmas scattered about. Baby presents I haven't written thank you notes for yet.

There is the nursery. Granted, it isn't anywhere near done. It's even missing sheet rock on one wall, but still, we were already calling it the baby's room.

Then there are the friends. The acquaintances. The people you forgot you had even told who are bound to walk up to you and ask, "How's the baby?" The people who are going to unknowingly come up and basically slam a baseball bat into the side of my head - I'll have to just stand there and take it.

Maybe I will just post a sign in the front yard that says, "Don't ask."

Then again, there are moments when having people bring it up to me can be a good thing. Even when I'm in a good place of not obsessing over it. Sometimes they know just the right thing to say. Even though they are only six. My little Clone niece crawled in my lap 2 days ago and said in my ear, "I cried when your baby died."

Me too, little Clone. Me too.